'Allo 'Allo!: Series 9

René has great expectations! The end of the war is in sight and he is eagerly anticipating a quick return to normalcy. Unfortunately, this is Nouvion, and normalcy will have to wait while René is blown to smithereens, shot in the rear end while disguised as an elk, and kidnapped by Louise to serve as love slave to the Communist Resistance. Meanwhile, Herr Flick undergoes plastic surgery to avoid capture by the Allies, General von Klinkerhoffen hatches another fool-proof plan to assassinate Hitler, and no one can remember where they have hidden the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies. As normalcy recedes further and further into the distance, Michelle plots an escape via the annual fishmonger's parade, and Lieutenant Gruber desperately tries to fix his little tank. Can the end of the war come soon enough to save these desperate fools?

Gone with the Windmill - As the war draws to an end, Gruber and von Strohm return from Spain, their escape attempt having failed. René agrees to hide the painting, still missing a boobie, and suggests the Germans fake their own kidnapping by hiding in the windmill, which von Klinkerhoffen has earmarked for target practice. Meanwhile, a heavily bandaged Flick tells Helga he has had plastic surgery to avoid capture by the Allies.

A Tour de France - Captured by the Communists, René is looking for a way to escape. Meanwhile, everyone else assumes he has been killed in the windmill explosion. Flick and von Smallhausen are attempting to trick Edith by pretending to be British.

Dead Man Marching - Renés backside is full of buckshot after being mistaken for an elk while escaping from the Communists. He now must lay low or face being re-captured, but in the end decides the safest plan is to turn himself in to the Germans, faking amnesia from the explosion.

Tarts and Flickers - Michelle tries to send important microfilm to England via homing pigeon. When that fails, she decides on using a motorised float in the annual Nouvion Fishmongers Parade. Flick and Von Smallhousen pose as waitresses to search for the painting.

A Fishy Sendoff - It is the day of the annual Nouvion Fishmongers Parade, but von Klinkerhoffen, Gruber and the Colonel are heading to Berlin on a most special mission: to assassinate Hitler with an exploding picture frame.

A Winkle in Time - The Allies have landed, and the Germans are in trouble. While a disguised Gruber and von Strohm attempt to mingle with the villagers, Flick and von Smallhausen try to reach the ocean in a mini-submarine via a secret tunnel under the town... Nouvion, present day. A Mercedes pulls into the square where there is a statue of René, the war hero. Old chauffeur von Strohm opens the door for the rich owners Helga and Gruber (now an international art dealer). Inside the cafe is René's young adopted son. René is being assisted to the toilet by Yvette. Upstairs, an older Mimi attends to the bedridden Edith. René is explaining that he never found the painting, when an accident suddenly reveals its hiding place. The painting is now worth millions, but will everyone get their share?

Produced and Directed by David Croft
Written by Jeremy Lloyd, David Croft, Paul Adam, John Chapman, Ian Davidson, Ronald Wolfe, Ronald Chesney